May the FORCE be with your vulnerability

I remember as a kid having such an obsession with how a Jedi could apparently tap into an invisible force and have powers. Despite not being a particularly big Star Wars family, I found myself enjoying them and being drawn to the deeper philosophical layers, and beginning to contemplate the ideas of good vs. evil.

Years later as a young adult, I would find my own “force” that I called Holy Spirit (I always liked the OG Holy Ghost personally)... it even enabled me to speak in tongues a few times! At least so I thought. Who knows? ;)

But even that force had a very self centered purpose. It seemed like I was only ever interested in how it would benefit me, even if that “benefit” was for “helping others”. And yet even after slowly (or in some theological instances, much more quickly) moving away from all of that, I still can’t shake the feeling of a force. 

I see it all the time now. ALL. THE. TIME. 

Personally, I believe that force to be the constant energy of life that is reverberating throughout every living thing, which many folks do place the label “god”, or other names, for. But we’ll table that for later. 

I wanna share another “force” that I am coming to believe may be one of the most powerful ones out there.

VULNERABILITY. 

Regardless of the definition not necessarily being too complicated to understand, I still feel like I only recently began to grasp what true vulnerability was. I spent lots of my adult life masquerading around truly believing my “transparency” was actual vulnerability. The problem was I still maintained control. Give just enough information… but control the narrative. 

“See? I’m vulnerable!” – but never actually being in a position where I could be harmed or taken advantage of with said information. This wreaked havoc on me. On the one hand, I was deceived by my own doing. Thus preventing me from excavating deeper into the shadow work of my soul. Belief can provide hope. It can also be a real bitch. 

On the other hand, it also subconsciously kept me from entering a depth in relationships that actually challenged these beliefs. Which oftentimes can be, and is, the very thing that enables or empowers us to actually be challenged and grow. 

This was a really dangerous place to be. A cocktail bomb of pseudo-enlightened intellectualism mixed with the self righteousness that comes with believing you are “healed”. Breaking that next layer of solidified fossils was gonna prove to be extra painful.

It’s a fine line between “protecting your peace” and operating with protectors. 

And this “line” may very well be one of the most important ones to be in a constant dance with, erasing and redefining on a daily, nay, hourly basis. Because life is not linear, as much as we want to try and keep it that way in order to, yet again, maintain that illusion of control. And why? Because to me, and seemingly the clarity of science and plenty of studies, we all are wanting the same thing. Connection. Community. Love. Even if we don’t think so, it’s an unavoidable inevitability, just like a fish in water… The question is will you move through life with more of an "ignorance is bliss” mentality or seek to become aware and understand the water and its purpose for why we must have it, and why it brings life. 

So if indeed we are seeking connection, community and love – then that beckons us to something we do not talk about enough.

PARTICIPATION.

Connection and community don’t just happen. That’s like playing an open-world game and just having your character stand there in hopes that nothing dangerous finds and mauls you. You gotta move. Explore. Take risks.

So here is my hypothesis after drinking far too much caffeine this morning – this participation, although taking many forms; is rooted in, and builds its foundation off the idea of true vulnerability. Everything else, despite looking like something more, has a weak foundation that can, and will, crumble far too easily. I’ve watched it over and over in my life due to the veil I convinced myself I had to remain behind. 

As one of my crushes once said… “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change”...(Brene Brown). 

Whether it be participation in relationships, or our overall purpose, I am convinced it all begins with vulnerability – which begins even more so with us learning to finally be honest with ourselves. Which in my opinion, is one of the first hang ups with all of this.

I get it. It’s fucking scary. It may even be the hardest thing you ever do. There are potentially life-altering implications.

But what is the alternative? Staying plugged into the machine of soul harvesting that capitalism and consumerism want you to think is life giving? I suppose you may get better rest, cause yea, it’s a lot harder to sleep sometimes when you’re really pushing yourself to feel. While also digging into that shame that keeps presenting itself as a deceiving alter ego. But personally, I say take the goddamn red pill. 

Because that is the human experience. 

As is connection, community and love.  Which no matter how you twist that rubik's cube, it will not be capable of finding the aligned colors and solving the puzzle without vulnerability and participation.

We all have the capability to become Jedi Masters. But will we choose to do so?

So as the Jedi Masters say, “May the FORCE be with you”. 

Or will we continue convincing ourselves that that is just not for us, or maybe that’s not our gifting, or maybe we don’t believe we have access to that force? Or we stay hidden… just enough, to not be exposed. How is that line looking for you right about now?

Because spoiler alert… you do have access to the force. We all do. Because we are all connected.

So let’s peel the shit back and get to work.

+Michael, High Priest