Once upon a time there was a little cherub who wanted to bring some heavenly cheer to earth during the holiday season...or at least, the holiday season for part of the world otherwise known as Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years.
They noticed that around this time of year humans were always so stressed and frazzled with the financial strain, family strain, not to mention the strain of culture wars in America around the holidays. So this little cherub told one of their cherub friends to join them on a little journey to spread some true holiday cheer.
They had some of the angels in charge of coffee roasting put together a magical blend of some coffees from Africa and Latin America – the perfect blend of rich and tart and spicy. And rejoicing over their plans with great expectation, they proceeded to leave a bag of “Cherubim Rejoice” coffee on the doorsteps of every home experiencing the stress and strain.
Chatting delightedly as they returned to heaven, they proclaimed, “Amen to good coffee!” “Hallelujah” and the host of heavenly beings joined them singing “Glory in the highest! Thanks be to God for the gift of the Holy Coffee Bean!”
WANNA SEE WHAT THEIR PICKS ARE FOR EVERYONE ON YOUR LIST? KEEP SCROLLING!
1. For your Pentecostal friend
2. For your Baptist friend
3. For your Catholic friend
4. For your Atheist friend
5. For your Millennial friend
6. For your Feminist friend
7. The social justice warrior in your life
8. For your boring friend
9. For your Folder’s drinking friend
10. For your significant other (aka the King or Queen in your life)
11. For your parent
12. For your little brother
13. For your priest
14. For your BFF
15. For your boss
1. For your Pentecostal friend - Dark Night of the Soul Dark Roast coffee
Because they've got lots of long, dark nights of the soul. (And they probably don't know who St. John of the Cross actually is.) Dark nights be gone!
2. For your Baptist friend - Sloth Dispelling Breakfast Blend coffee
Because for all their good intentions, sloth can still be found in their midst. And sloth is one of the deadly sins apparently, so let's go ahead and help them dispel that one.
3. For your Catholic friend - Matriarch Espresso Blend coffee
Because, well, they like Mary. She's pretty cool. And they've kinda got a patriarchy with the Pope and all, so let's sprinkle in a little girl-power. Here's to strong women!
4. For your Atheist friend - Mocha Java "Highest Grade" Blend coffee
Because they care about history and culture and geography and capitalism and...well, maybe not all that. But this coffee has quite the story behind it, and they'll probably appreciate it.
5. For your Millennial friend - Cherubim Holiday Blend
Because they are just struggling with that #adulting life, and the holidays will be full of family drama and therapy appointments. And we just want them to experience a little bit of wonder amidst all the crazy.
6. For your Feminist friend - MiiR Matriarch Mug
Everyone needs a wonder woman in their lives, like this MiiR 20oz water bottle. "Here's to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them." - Author Unknown
7. The social justice warrior in your life - "Liberal Snowflakes Taste Good" Gift Box
This year, Mad Priest embarked on a six month “Get Mad Crusade” where we hosted conversations on six different issues of injustice, with experts in each field. Our goal was to cultivate curiosity, celebrate nuance, and learn together – all while donating proceeds of our #GetMad merch & coffees to some great causes.
8. For your boring friend - Abbe Mug
Because they like boring, basic, minimalistic, white and black things. And this is that thing. Actually, it's a pretty cool mug for being boring.
9. For your Folder’s drinking friend - "No Predestination Here" Gift Box
We aren’t really into predestination at Mad Priest, so we came up with a gift box that celebrates FREE WILL & BLENDS. That is, free will to choose the best coffee, and coffee blends made in heaven. Your friend will be converted from Folder's with these beautiful coffees!
10 For your significant other (aka the King or Queen in your life) - "Gifts of the Magi" Gift Box
The traditional gifts of Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh are replaced by two exquisite coffees from our new AXIS MUNDI series! We do believe that the Magi of ancient times would have brought these coffees to baby Jesus, had they discovered the glories of coffee at that point in history. Axis Mundi means “where heaven meets earth” and these coffees are sure to bring an experience of the Divine!
11. For your parent - Haiti Zombie Desert
This Haitian Blue coffee is named after a coffee-growing mountain town in Haiti, Savane Zombie, where urban legend holds that witch doctors used to raise the dead to do their bidding. The island soil its grown in preserves many of the bean’s unique flavors and its low in acidity, creamy, smooth with an exceptional nutty taste.
Your parent will LOVE this coffee. Or, at least, they'll be happy you remembered them this year.
12. For your little brother - St George Tee
A “crusade” against injustice isn’t complete without St. George killing the dragon of racism, economic inequality, displacement, incarceration, and colonialism. Fueled by a cup of Mad Priest Coffee.
Get Mad. Get Mad about injustice. Get Mad Priest Coffee.
13. For your priest - Dark night of the soul tee
Because he knows who St. John of the Cross is (or, he really should).
14. For your BFF - Matriarch tee
Because this is literally the coolest t-shirt you could give them for any gift, ever. Because we all can celebrate strong women a little more. Because literally every skin tone and body type looks good in dark red.
15. For your boss - Heavenly Coffee Hat
We love coffee. Drink good coffee, do good shit. And put wings and a halo on that coffee bean. Such a gift from heaven to humanity! So is this sexy, high crown snapback.